Why is it that sometimes it is so hard to follow. It takes trust. Its like a dance. If both people try to lead you will just end up tripping over each others feet. Sometimes I wish life was like traffic lights. Its just obvious. Red means stop. Green means go. Even if you want so badly to go when the light is red, you simply don't. You know the consequences. It is the law and you simply obey. I wish obeying God was that simple. Sometimes I wrestle so much with following. Whether it's God or Josh. I just like to be in control. I like to know what the plan is, what is going to happen. It's kinda like driving. You know how you always feel safer going faster, or stopping or starting when you are the one at the wheel? You always worry do they see that car? Are they changing lanes? Do they see the brake lights. But marriage and trusting God is really about giving over the wheel and not being a backseat driver. Trusting. Even when you think your way is better. I am learning what this means more. I have always been an independent person. I had to grow up fast when I was in the 8th grade for several reasons and I just got used to making my own decisions and calling the shots in my life. I have also always been stubborn. When I first got married I read this book called "Becoming the woman of his dreams: 7 qualities every man longs for". I read it with ease thinking why would I ever have trouble doing or thinking any of these things? I love Josh he is amazing! Well 4 years later I laugh at how naive I was. Marriage can be hard! It's about two lives coming together merging in to one. This sometimes causes conflict, some just based on being raised differently. Ideas of raising kids, finances, traditions, church attendance and much more. It's easy to always "have a better idea" than him, to compare him to other men, to complain about his mistakes to our friends. Its Easy to do that. Its hard to do the opposite.
Men are very different creatures and have certain needs. One of those needs is the need for respect. It is the little things that add up to respect. The way you speak to him, the comments you make about him, the way you talk about him with your friends.
Ephesians 5:33 says it this way "Let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him, and that she defers to him, praises him, and love and admires him exceedingly" -Amplified version.
This is not a husband lording over his wife demanding it. It's ours as wives to freely give. I desire to do this in a greater way. To be selfless and think of Josh above myself. To listen when he says go, to trust when he says stop. And if a decision he makes goes wrong to simply say "We will figure it out babe" not "Look what YOU did."
We. We are in this crazy thing called life together.
So following is not as simple as traffic lights, but thank the Lord we have resources like, The Word, wise people, and good books to help light our way.
